Pale Sandwich Man

Hello Dear Readers,

            I finally had a chance to catch up with my friend Officer Eric.  It’s been awhile since we’ve seen each other. We met yesterday at the Steaming Mug.  He told me that his absence was not entirely accidental! Apparently, his superiors have encouraged him not to speak with me!  It seems that I am getting a reputation around time for being involved with strange things. How exciting! I don’t think I've ever had a reputation before.  I hope it's good!

Fortunately for me, Officer Eric has had a most unsettling experience that has caused him to seek out my company, against the wishes of his superiors. He feels that I may be more receptive to what he has to say that other people.  We got coffees, his black, mine with foam and caramel drizzle. He began by telling me off multiple visitations he has experienced over his lifetime by an entity he dubbed the Pale Sandwich Man.

The most recent visit by this entity had been the previous evening.  Which prompted our meeting at the Steaming Mug. After swearing me to secrecy Officer Eric told to tell me how a tall, thin man dressed in all black, with a bald head and sallow skin has appeared in his kitchen making a sandwich, half a dozen times.

He described the man as neither arriving nor leaving, rather he simply appears out of nowhere in the kitchen.  He would be standing there by the fridge making himself a sandwich and he would speak a single sentence. He would always complain that Officer Eric was out of a common sandwich fixing.  Frequently he would say, “You're out of mayonnaise”. Though most of the times Officer Eric was not out of mayonnaise. On one occasion he complained that there was no mustard and another time that there was no oil and vinegar.

These visitations are bizarre enough on their own, but that's not the truly frightening part.  Every time Officer Eric received one of these visits, something bad happened within several days.  Except for the fourth visit, nothing out of the ordinary or terrible happened. It took him several visits to make the connection between the Pale Sandwich Man and the events.

When Officer Eric was five, there was no reason for him to think the appearance of the strange man had anything to do with the death of the family pet.  By the time the visitor appeared again nine years later, Officer Eric had convinced himself that he had imagined it. After the third visit nothing occurred, so he thought it was pure coincidence.  But by the fourth and fifth times, the connection was clear.

Let's count them off in the most the efficient style there is list style.

·         Age 5 - No mayonnaise - Dog hit by a car

·         Age 14 - No mayonnaise - Sudden development of peanut allergy.  Hospitalized for a week.

·         Age 19 - No mustard - Nothing?

·         Age 27 - No mayonnaise - A building collapsed killing thirteen people.

·         Age 29 - No pickles - Father dies of heart attack.

·         Last Night - Dry Turkey - Nothing Yet

           

Now, for last night’s visitation.  Officer Eric had returned home from a long day of keeping the people of Kevin’s Crossing safe from the forces of darkness.  After arriving home he decided to finish washing the dishes that were left in the sink. He saw something out of the corner of his eye, and with his police reflexes, he spun around to find the Pale Sandwich Man standing there, finishing the last bite of a sandwich.  He licked his fingers, appearing to enjoy himself. He then did something unprecedented. And walked past Officer Eric and said “Not bad, the turkey was a little dry though,” and walked out of the kitchen. Officer Eric spun around and looked into his living room, but the Pale Sandwich Man was gone.  Officer Eric points out that there was no turkey in his fridge at the time.

How exciting!  To have a precognitive police friend!  I eagerly await what disastrous event may be on the horizon.  Officer Eric does not share my enthusiasm but I suppose it will probably make a lot of paperwork for him.  I wonder if this deviation in the Pale Sandwich Man’s usual behavior is significant. Does finishing the sandwich symbolize something?  So many questions! So much mystery!

I’ll add this Pale Sandwich Man to the list of otherworldly entities inhabiting Kevin’s Crossing.  I wonder if he knows the representatives of Dwellers Below and the Consortium of the Screaming Skies and Whispered Rooms.  Perhaps they should start a union.

PostScript

I made a trip into town to see the hose where Otto’s friend Jimmy grew up.  Oddly, it doesn’t seem to exist. Nothing except the fact the road exists is the way he described it.  Otto was very explicit about where it was and how to get there, but nothing matched up! Weird! Now I’m forced to wonder which was wrong, Otto or the universe?

I’ll keep you updated.