Crossing Kevin's Crossing

Hello Dear Reader, Lately, I've been starting my morning to by listening to the refreshing local radio station KMO 9.92. My favorite show to wake up to is the town sweetheart and transgendered radio personality Kimberley Valentine!  On Wednesdays, Kimberley does a segment called Secrets of Kevin’s Crossing.  With a title like that, I’m sure you’re not surprised that it’s my favorite! Kimberly spends five to ten minutes informing listeners about some aspect of the town or its history that even lifelong residents may not know about.  This morning’s topic: Pirates! One particular pirate, that is, Captain Abraham Archer.  He was a pirate and privateer towards the end of the golden age of piracy.  He claimed to be English but had a strange indistinguishable accent. It seems there were many wild rumors about him, many of which he started himself.  Here are a few favorites: He was the son of Sultan and one his concubines. He was the son of a mermaid and a sailor. He was tulp

When we were kids our father never took Susie and me on normal vacations.  We never went to the beach or amusement parks.  Our father was obsessed with how things worked.  So we’d visit factories and behind the scenes tours.  We never went to a baseball game but we’ve seen how the stadium operates.  We left before the game started. We’ve been to everything from meat packing plants to power stations.     So I’ve always had an understanding that behind every finished product, every facade, there’s enormous amount of unseen work and activity taking place.  Simplified: nothing is ever as simple as it seems. Postscript:     This morning the mystery light bulb was on again when I woke up.  Perhaps I should get a plant to put underneath it.  Maybe a Ficus?  I'll keep you updated!

Hello Dear Readers! People have been telling me lately (apparently I’m starting to get a reputation!) that if I want to see something strange, I should stand at the intersection of March St. and Pennyworth Lane.  Known as March and Pennyworth. Also known as the place you can conduct all sorts of illicit business. Specifically, stand at the corner of March and Pennyworth, with my left hand touching the street sign pole for four minutes and thirty-six second and then look across the intersection between the two mulberries growing there. March and Pennyworth are in what the locals call ‘Treasure Town’.  Supposedly it is ‘not a good part of town’.  So I took the bus in the middle of the day and carried no money.  Like always.  I tried to blend in by wearing old, worn clothes, nothing flashy.  Like always.  So essentially I went as myself and no one bothered me. On my way to the intersection, I saw several interesting pieces of graffiti.  That part of town has an abundance.  I saw

Hello Dear Readers! I woke up early this morning to join Vic and Gemma on a trip to the local junkyard(don't worry Susan, I didn't get tetanus)!   Vic and I have been meeting regularly for brunch at the Steaming Mug.  Apparently, he and Jason have been spending less and less time together.  So he has more time to hang out with me!  Hooray for relationship problems! Apparently, Vic and Gemma are old friends from high school and do stuff like this.  They asked me to come along!  Well, Vic asked me to come along and Gemma just grunted in consent.  I was so excited to be invited that I didn’t even find out what we were doing.  I was a little concerned they might have been bringing me to the outskirts of town, in the early morning, to murder me.  Lucky for me, that didn’t pan out. We went to Big Earl’s Junkyard.  Why are the people who run junkyards either Big or Lil?  I have the same question about rappers. Jak-Jak is said to dwell within the junkyard sometimes.  Though th

Hello Dear Readers, I have a quick update for you.  I will post more later but I saw something in the morning paper that made my jaw hit the floor. I arrived at the Steaming Mug this morning for my usual refreshments.  I placed my order with Gemma and sat down on a delightfully worn and stained sofa.  Strewn about was the local newspaper, the Kevin’s Crossing Herald.  I picked it, intending to look for subliminal messages in Want Ads. A headline on the first-page healed my attention, it read ‘Feral dog pack found ripped to pieces!  The work of Jak-Jak?’. These must be the feral dogs Officer Eric warned me about the other week. Can you believe it, readers?  I surely can not.  I just had to share this excitement with you.  Perhaps Jak-Jak does live, after all! I’ll keep you updated!

Hello Dear Readers, Unfortunately, I have not ventured out much lately, again, this time not because of the weather.  I may have made a mistake eating at Yogi’s Sushi Bear.  I have been in bed for several days.  Finally, I am well enough to sit up and post something.  I decided that this is the perfect opportunity for a rundown of all the local graffiti. Like any other place, Kevin’s Crossing has its fair share of graffiti.  Most of it is just names, obscenities, or small murals.  But there are three images/phrases that appear frequently all over town.  They are: Jak-Jak Finger Over Lips Knot Part 1 So we'll start with Jak-Jak.  This graffiti comes in a variety of styles all referring to the local legend, Jak-Jak.  They usually say something like 'Jak-Jak Lives’ or ‘ Jak-Jak was here’ or ‘Jak-Jak’s Revenge’.  The various writing styles suggest several artists. Jak-Jak is a fusion of urban legend, folklore, and a cryptid.  Everyone(!) in town knows about

Hello Dear Reader! I just have a quick update for you today, unfortunately not a full post.  Things have been a little slow around Kevin’s Crossing in the strange and unusually department.  Even the morbid and macabre department has been uneventful this week.  So in an attempt to keep things moving, I decided to conduct a test.  I took my art deco lamp into the bathroom and shined the mystery light bulb on the stain in bathtub that looks like Elvis Kissing the Pope. Effect: None. I would like to do more tests with the mystery bulb in the future, but the cord is too short.  Maybe I should buy an extension cord. Postscript I think the mystery bulb will fit in a flashlight! I’ll keep you updated!

Hello Dear Readers, I haven’t posted in while because I’ve been trapped in my apartment because of the terrible rain.  Finally, the skies have cleared, the birds are singing and I’ve taken the bus into downtown Kevin’s Crossing.  I had a strange encounter before I even got on the bus! Part 1 While sitting at the bus stop a few blocks from my apartment, a tabby cat jumped up on the bench with me.  It repeatedly nudged me with its head until I pet would it.  I noticed that it had a ragged collar with an ID tag.  I wanted to look at the tag, fearing this tiny apex predator was someone's beloved pet that had slipped outside.  I expected the tag to have the usual name and address or phone number.  What I saw was quite different.  The tag was diamond shaped, the kind you can print yourself at most fine petcare chain stores.  It read ‘This is not a real cat’. I did a double take and leaned away from the suspicious feline.  It continued to try and nuzzle me.  When I didn’t respo

Hello Dear Readers, For the first several weeks of living in Kevin’s Crossing the center of my universe has been the coffee shop, the Steaming Mug.  It has fed me, been the source of social interaction, and provided me with a connection to the larger world(free wifi).     But like any small town, the true heart of my new hometown is local mini-mart/gas station.  About 1.2 miles from my apartment is Ziggy’s, part of a local franchise found in this area.  Ziggy’s provides essentially everything a person needs to survive.  From food to gas, to basic home essentials, to cold cuts, and sandwiches.     Now that I’m settled into my apartment I’ve been making regular trips on foot to Ziggy’s for supplies.  This is an important milestone since it signifies my new universe is expanding.  My trips are frequent since I can only carry a few groceries at a time(I think I will be investing in a bike soon).  That’s perfect because every time is an adventure.  So many interesting people, so man